Paris

June 2014

The 11 hour flight afforded us loads of time to watch a shit ton of movies, but I was determined to make myself fall asleep on the plane to help me transition between time zones without jet lag. I'm happy to report that I was very successful, despite my plan being foiled by a 4 hour flight delay.

 

Arriving in the Paris airport was a huge relief on my body, and customs was a joke. They hardly looked at my passport, and one of the guards by the customs stations came up to me when I was waiting for my mom, asking me if I was travelling alone. Nope. My mom came over, and then the guard backs away smiling, like oh, okay, "Be careful! I'm a thief!" ...What? Welcome to Paris.

Using the metros were simple, and useful, and all over the place, thank goodness. Despite the dirtiness of the metros and much of the city in general, I would have sincerely regretted a decision to actually drive in Paris. They are mad drivers there, with confusing traffic lights, and the roundabout at the Arc du Triomphe was 5 cars wide with no lane marks. Everyone was weaving in and out of each other and they somehow never managed to collide. Nope. NopeNopeNope.

 

While knowing how to read a little tiny bit of French is very helpful, I was relieved to find that knowing how to speak it wasn't a huge necessity. Nearly every French person who waited in restaurants or boulangeries knew enough English for us to get by. The magic words were, "Parlez-vous anglais?"

 

I tried my first ever French macaron, chocolate, of course. There were baguettes and chocolate croissants everywhere. Breakfasts are a big deal in Paris, even if they only offered orange juice with coffee and a croissant. I tried my first ever real carbonara (raw egg yolk on top), at the same time trying my first fresh pasta ever, it was the best. The carbonara order was actually an accident: my mom had meant to order us both bolognese instead. I'm not even mad!

  

My mom claims that the French people are rude, but I was more under the impression that they were merely indifferent. Everyone smokes. There were a lot of North Africans at famous landmarks trying to sell things like little Eiffel Tower statues, postcards, or water bottles, which is illegal. When my mom and I were walking out of Versailles, our timing was perfect when police cars drove up and the North Africans scattered, leaving their ice cold water bottles ripe for the tourist picking. My mom ran over with the rest of the mob and grabbed two. Thank goodness. Versailles Chateau sells a small water bottle for 3 euros, which equates to about $5. Nope. I went thirsty instead.

 

But the North Africans aren't necessarily this much of a blessing all the time. In the Tuileries garden near the Louvre, one of them grabbed at a girl's wallet as she was paying for a trinket! Her friend yelled at the man and smacked at his arm, but the man was persistently aggressive with this girl and continued trying to grab the wallet, even throwing in a couple of whacks. Scaaaaary. There were plenty of children everywhere too holding clipboards out for people to read and sign and/or donate or show them where they keep their money so they can pickpocket them later. There are signs everywhere to beware of pickpockets.

 

I noticed that the south side of the River Siene was cleanest with seemingly richer neighborhoods. We ended up staying a couple miles in on the north side in a middle eastern neighborhood according to the types of shops nearby. It was very dirty, but the hotel we stayed at called itself a 4 star. Let me tell you, it sure wasn't. The air conditioner didn't cool the air at all, so at night in order to sleep comfortably without sweating we had to open the screen-less windows that let in mosquitoes that raped my arms and neck, as well as the vocal enthusiasm of the masses over the FIFA World Cup. They also didn't have a proper "do not disturb" sign for our door, only a "come back later" sign, so housekeeping came in eventually whether we wanted them to or not. But reception was very helpful. That's it. We were randomly upgraded to the highest quality room they have (disbelievingly "worth" 520 euros per night--Thank goodness for early booking discounts), which was smaller than you would normally see in the US, so I could scarcely believe what they offer for their most economic room.

 

My overall impression of Paris is that the old French monarchies and emperors had completely over the top and gaudy tastes, the food is utterly divine, the city is loud and bustling and dangerous, the people are fashionably indifferent smokers who can pronounce my name correctly the first time ("Aubrey-elle"), and while I enjoyed putting on many miles trekking all over the city and soaking up the incredible architecture and history, especially through the parks and the Louvre, I don't really see myself visiting again.

Adieu, Paris. You were a  beautiful one night stand.