My mom is trying out some mild yoga practices for the first time and has encouraged me to join her over the last week. The yoga practices I'm referring to aren't typical stretching and active pose holding; the purpose of Restorative Yoga (Yoga Nidra) is to deeply relax your body and being. I've never attempted any kind of yoga before, so I felt that maybe this is a good place to start? Yoga Nidra basically involves lying on pillows with blankets over you and closing your eyes during a visualization exercise that is probably a bit like hypnotism in suggesting your body to relax.
This particular session I guess was different from the instructor's other sessions. She told us to bring awareness to each part of our body and to actively think about tension there and let it go. If I didn't attend the yoga class and experience this myself, I wouldn't have believed that anything would really happen... but to me, some moments of this "exercise" were really intense. She started out bringing us to our fingers, up our arms, our toes, up our legs, up our pelvis and torso, then through the head. When she finished talking about the limbs, she would say, "Now your arms are like a fallen tree branch, detached and at peace." I didn't really start feeling quite like that, at least not until she started going through the stomach. My limbs had been completely still for so long that I no longer felt that they were even there, as if I were completely dismembered, but not in a scary way.
Then when she brought awareness to our hearts, I realized I couldn't feel mine beating anymore, and I wasn't sure if that was supposed to happen or not. I was a bit weirded out. Immediately at her mention of the "emotional heart" I started feeling this flood of emotions welling up in my chest, and when she said to "release it" there was this huge surge of... FEELINGS going up my shoulder and down my side, and I started choking back the tears that began welling up in my eyes. I have no idea what that was about, but it was one of the most intense experiences I've ever had.
During the exercise, I was very relaxed, but as she counted down to a more awake state, I started feeling the pains and tension in my body again. So, I'm not sure if I can say the session helped me or not if I was only relaxed during the class itself.
Since I got an unlimited 2 week introductory pass, I'm going to try a few more yoga classes to see how they fare with me. For some reason, my mom is really proud that I went with her and feels that based on my reactions to the class I should definitely continue.
June 4, 2015
May 6, 2015
Off On Tangents
I've been reminded that this blog exists, so I will go ahead and update it now. Yay!
1. I'm watching my calories, again! I yo-yo a lot, because once I stop counting calories I gain weight. If I don't have this device in front of me telling me I'm eating a 2100-or-so calorie s'mores cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, then the calories don't exist. You understand.
2. I'm simulating a Dot & Bo room in Pinterest because Dot & Bo is hosting a sort of a contest with a $5000 grand prize shopping spree on their website. They have some pretty neat stuff, and I wouldn't mind using that money to buy some dining room furniture. The thing is, once they narrow down finalists, it's up to friends and family to go and "like" the rooms so whoever has the most likes wins the moneybags. Expect that, if I somehow make it that far, I will be soliciting help.
3. The other night I had the weirdest and grossest dream. My skin was really stretched out for some reason and I must not have had any abdominal muscles because my intestines fell into the skin sack that I could literally palpate my bowel loops. It was really, really gross.
4. My cats have started to get super snuggly in bed at night. Mia lets me wrap my arm around her and tuck my hand under her belly and she sleeps like that. So cute!
5. I took the time to get together with an old college friend to see The Avengers. I'm usually really evasive about getting together with this guy because I know that he likes me (he asked me out once back in college, oh, 7 years ago), but I'm just not into him at all. So, the time we spend together is really awkward for me, especially when he is contacting me after break-ups. I'm pretty sure I've always been on his mind, and after confirming that he was attempting to make this get-together like a date, I've finally put my foot down. I literally had to repeat myself three times before he got the message, and it made me feel bad. Of course, he doesn't want this confrontation to ruin our friendship, so once he cools off we will see more movies down the road, just without pretenses. Maybe now I can be more comfortable around him.
6. I ordered some tickets to see a musical in June and a concert in October: My Fair Lady with my mom, and Ben Howard & Daughter in Berkeley with another old friend from middle school. We so excited!
7. Besides the new Avengers movie, I also saw The Age of Adaline and Ex Machina. Both were really interesting. The Age of Adaline was adorable, but I could tell that it was based on a novel. Sometimes plots work better for novels than movies, as in this case, because the little extraordinary occurances seem more far fetched in films than books for some reason. As for Ex Machina, which was quite thrilling, had an expected and yet unexpected ending. I want to say more, but I feel like I would spoil it!
8. Even before the confrontation in #5, I've been thinking about relationships some. My mom struggled with codependency in her marriage and she had me review the characteristics of codependency to see how I fared, too. Now, I only had one serious relationship to use as a reference, but I was certainly codependent to a moderate extent during that time. I fear that this codependency won't go away for future relationships, as if I'm ruined by my last experience. If I do come across the perfect man who happens to think I'm perfect too, then great, I will do my best to be mutually happy. However, I don't intend to wait for that person to drop in my lap (I don't expect them to, anyway), and I don't intend on making it my life's mission to search for them either. I live better for myself when I'm on my own. Sure, it's nice to love and be loved, but I take better care of myself when I'm on my own: I'm not stressed over a relationship, I'm not obsessive or jealous, I don't have to compromise on anything, and (hallelujah!) I don't have to share a bed (suffer from lack of sleep) or shave my legs in the winter (at least until I start feeling like a woolly mammoth wearing a sweater made from its own fur). I have the love that I need from my family and from myself, and it's more than enough to keep me happy. I've been single for two years now, and I can honestly say that last year was one of the best and happiest years of my life. Don't need no man! Ain't nobody got time for that!
1. I'm watching my calories, again! I yo-yo a lot, because once I stop counting calories I gain weight. If I don't have this device in front of me telling me I'm eating a 2100-or-so calorie s'mores cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, then the calories don't exist. You understand.
2. I'm simulating a Dot & Bo room in Pinterest because Dot & Bo is hosting a sort of a contest with a $5000 grand prize shopping spree on their website. They have some pretty neat stuff, and I wouldn't mind using that money to buy some dining room furniture. The thing is, once they narrow down finalists, it's up to friends and family to go and "like" the rooms so whoever has the most likes wins the moneybags. Expect that, if I somehow make it that far, I will be soliciting help.
3. The other night I had the weirdest and grossest dream. My skin was really stretched out for some reason and I must not have had any abdominal muscles because my intestines fell into the skin sack that I could literally palpate my bowel loops. It was really, really gross.
4. My cats have started to get super snuggly in bed at night. Mia lets me wrap my arm around her and tuck my hand under her belly and she sleeps like that. So cute!
5. I took the time to get together with an old college friend to see The Avengers. I'm usually really evasive about getting together with this guy because I know that he likes me (he asked me out once back in college, oh, 7 years ago), but I'm just not into him at all. So, the time we spend together is really awkward for me, especially when he is contacting me after break-ups. I'm pretty sure I've always been on his mind, and after confirming that he was attempting to make this get-together like a date, I've finally put my foot down. I literally had to repeat myself three times before he got the message, and it made me feel bad. Of course, he doesn't want this confrontation to ruin our friendship, so once he cools off we will see more movies down the road, just without pretenses. Maybe now I can be more comfortable around him.
6. I ordered some tickets to see a musical in June and a concert in October: My Fair Lady with my mom, and Ben Howard & Daughter in Berkeley with another old friend from middle school. We so excited!
7. Besides the new Avengers movie, I also saw The Age of Adaline and Ex Machina. Both were really interesting. The Age of Adaline was adorable, but I could tell that it was based on a novel. Sometimes plots work better for novels than movies, as in this case, because the little extraordinary occurances seem more far fetched in films than books for some reason. As for Ex Machina, which was quite thrilling, had an expected and yet unexpected ending. I want to say more, but I feel like I would spoil it!
8. Even before the confrontation in #5, I've been thinking about relationships some. My mom struggled with codependency in her marriage and she had me review the characteristics of codependency to see how I fared, too. Now, I only had one serious relationship to use as a reference, but I was certainly codependent to a moderate extent during that time. I fear that this codependency won't go away for future relationships, as if I'm ruined by my last experience. If I do come across the perfect man who happens to think I'm perfect too, then great, I will do my best to be mutually happy. However, I don't intend to wait for that person to drop in my lap (I don't expect them to, anyway), and I don't intend on making it my life's mission to search for them either. I live better for myself when I'm on my own. Sure, it's nice to love and be loved, but I take better care of myself when I'm on my own: I'm not stressed over a relationship, I'm not obsessive or jealous, I don't have to compromise on anything, and (hallelujah!) I don't have to share a bed (suffer from lack of sleep) or shave my legs in the winter (at least until I start feeling like a woolly mammoth wearing a sweater made from its own fur). I have the love that I need from my family and from myself, and it's more than enough to keep me happy. I've been single for two years now, and I can honestly say that last year was one of the best and happiest years of my life. Don't need no man! Ain't nobody got time for that!April 9, 2015
Teachers
When I was in first or second grade, we had the most inconceivable assignment: to invent something. As soon as I heard this, I immediately thought that my teacher was batshit crazy. Inventors are people who are in the prime of their life and maturity and have the experience to know what needs to be fixed and the insight into how it can be fixed. But we are mere children who most likely haven't even developed logic and common sense yet. We still believed things like eating a watermelon seed would make a watermelon grow in your stomach. How the heck are we supposed to invent something?
So, obviously, I failed this assignment. My "invention" was some kind of a pully system that allowed me to wake up my mom from my bedroom with a little poking motion. Why did I need to do this? I didn't. I'm pretty sure it was my mom who needed to wake me up in the mornings, anyway.
Obviously, the other children didn't do so well, either. The only memorable invention was an umbrella with a cup holder attached. And hey, that might be useful in some situations, but seriously? These kind of assignments are ridiculous for children; it certainly made me feel dumb.
I also can't stand when children get assignments/projects that really end up being for parents, ie: building models, sewing costumes, or cooking treats for potlucks. The kids will probably only end up doing 15% of the real work and that's not fair for the parents who have enough to deal with as it is.
Okay, I'll stop, but only because I am reminiscing about childhood and 90's things.
So, obviously, I failed this assignment. My "invention" was some kind of a pully system that allowed me to wake up my mom from my bedroom with a little poking motion. Why did I need to do this? I didn't. I'm pretty sure it was my mom who needed to wake me up in the mornings, anyway.
Obviously, the other children didn't do so well, either. The only memorable invention was an umbrella with a cup holder attached. And hey, that might be useful in some situations, but seriously? These kind of assignments are ridiculous for children; it certainly made me feel dumb.
I also can't stand when children get assignments/projects that really end up being for parents, ie: building models, sewing costumes, or cooking treats for potlucks. The kids will probably only end up doing 15% of the real work and that's not fair for the parents who have enough to deal with as it is.
Okay, I'll stop, but only because I am reminiscing about childhood and 90's things.
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